IELTS Preparation Series 3, Episode 3: Cohesion & Coherence in Writing
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Hello, and welcome to Study English, IELTS preparation. I'm Margot Politis.
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Today we'll look at writing an essay on ageing populations and how to organise ideas about
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it in a paragraph.
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Let's begin by listening to a young woman talking about her grandmother:
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She does mainly the cooking and looking after us, you know, making sure that we turn out
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right, being strict with us. But I think part of her being here, like, allowed us to have
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respect for like, you know, older people. Yeah, I think from her, I've learned a lot
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- like, the Buddhist belief, how to be a good person, how to be honest and respectable person
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to everyone around you.
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She talked about the valuable contributions an elderly person can make. The grandmother
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has positively influenced the children, teaching them respect and honesty, and cooking. Let's
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see how this sort of positive view about older people is developed in a paragraph as part
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of an essay.
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The paragraph starts with a sentence that establishes the main point:
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The valuable contributions that active and healthy aged individuals can make should not
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be overlooked.
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This is called the topic sentence. The main idea is valuable contributions that active
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and healthy aged individuals can make.
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The writer then goes on with two sentences that support the main idea that old people
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make valuable contributions by saying what the contributions are.
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Firstly, these retired people could take on the role of carers for their grandchildren,
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allowing both parents to work longer hours and save on day care expenses.
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Notice the linking word 'firstly'. It means there will be more than one supporting sentence.
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What linking word should follow 'firstly"?
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Secondly, the retirees could volunteer their services as drivers for the very old and sick.
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To further develop the supporting ideas, the writer provides an example.
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For example, they could deliver meals directly to their homes or assist with transportation
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to and from specialist appointments or hospital.
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The sentence is logically related to what has just been said and linked by 'for example'.
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This sentence is called a developing sentence.
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How you refer back to things you have just written is an important way of creating a
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natural flow to your language. The examiners call it cohesion.
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You do this with words called referents which help make links within and between sentences
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and paragraphs:
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For instance, look at these sentences:
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'These retired individuals'. 'These' refers back to 'aged individuals' in the preceding
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sentence. And 'their' grandchildren are the grandchildren of the same 'aged individuals.
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Referents are used all the time and not just in essays. Listen to the way the man in the
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next clip uses 'the' and 'those' to refer back:
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The car's driven by four inhub motors. And the inhub motors directly drive the four wheels.
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The power source is the batteries. Those batteries are sort of charged by literally plugging
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it in at home or by the solar cells.
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He doesn't just repeat himself. He says the car is driven by inhub motors. To say what
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the motors do, he refers to them again, but as the inhub motors:
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The car's driven by four inhub motors. And the inhub motors directly drive the four wheels.
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Next he says that the power source is the batteries. He's already said 'the' batteries
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so he refers to them again as 'those batteries':
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The power source is the batteries. Those batteries are sort of charged by literally plugging
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it in at home or by the solar cells.
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Using referents helps you avoid using exactly the same words too often.
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You can also use synonyms - words that have similar meanings - in much the same way.
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Let's look at our paragraph about aged people again.
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'Aged individuals is not repeated in the same form in the paragraph, but as
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retired individuals, retirees and in specific roles as carers and drivers.
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Using referents and synonyms skilfully is not just for essays. Let's look at the way
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synonyms and referents create cohesion and meaning in the next clip on an entirely different
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topic, the ruined city of Angkor Wat:
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Right now we're at Angkor, which is a collection of temples in the north of Cambodia, which,
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about a thousand years ago, was the centre of a huge empire which stretched across most
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of South-East Asia. The true significance of the place is that it's probably the world's
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most amazing collection of religious monuments. What you see here is a scale of engineering
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and aesthetic beauty and a complexity that isn't really seen at any other collection
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of monument sites around the world.
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First he calls Angkor by its name:
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Right now we're at Angkor.
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He then refers to it and says what it is:
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which is a collection of temples in the north of Cambodia
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Refers again and explains its function:
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which, about a thousand years ago, was the centre of a huge empire which stretched across
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most of South-East Asia.
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He goes on to refer to Angkor again as 'the place' and 'it', and finds another way of
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saying 'collection of temples': collection of religious monuments:
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The true significance of the place is that it's probably the world's most amazing collection
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of religious monuments.
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Now let's look at coherence. What is coherence?
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When writing an essay you need to organise and develop your argument logically using
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paragraphs, starting with an introduction, 2 or 3 body paragraphs and finishing with
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a conclusion. There should be a clear transition from one paragraph to the next, linking the
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ideas between paragraphs. The paragraph we looked at earlier was the first body paragraph
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of an essay answering this question:
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The increasing number of older people will cause economic problems for the young.
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To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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For this sort of essay you have to write about different things in each body paragraph. The
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first paragraph disagreed - it said what positive things older people contribute. So the next
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body paragraph has to look at the negative effects of an ageing population. Let's look
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at what its opening sentence or topic sentence should be like:
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However, the increasing proportion of older people no longer contributing as much tax
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as younger people will put a strain on the nation's budget.
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Notice that the sentence begins with the word 'however'. However is a linking word that
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is used for contrasting. It shows the writer is moving on to develop the other side of
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the argument.
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To recap, you should know how to structure an essay. Using paragraphs correctly in your
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essay is important. You need an introduction, which gives some background information about
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the topic, followed by what you are going to write about.
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You start the first body paragraph with a topic sentence that establishes the main idea
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you will write about. You follow this with some supporting sentences that give reasons
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and provide examples that develop your ideas further.
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You do something similar with the next body paragraph, but from the opposite point of
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view and finish with a conclusion that summarises the main points and makes it clear what you
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think.
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And you should link sentences with transition words.
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This gives your essay coherence.
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Using referents and synonyms as we've seen will help you achieve cohesion.
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That's all for today.
